Humorous Home Control Careers
Could we use a helping hand in our high-tech homes?
May 06, 2010 by Lisa Montgomery

A lot goes into maintaining a high-tech household. There are buttons to push, speakers to dust off and screens to shine. There are iPods to dock, remotes to charge up and touchpanels to tote.

Maybe there are some potential job opportunities in the near future to help us with all this high-tech?

Here’s a humorous look at some unrealistic possibilities.

iPad Nanny - Everyone’s going to be fighting over that iPad you just bought (or plan to buy). You’ll need someone who can resolve arguments over who gets to play with it next. The nanny will also help decide what apps to buy, make sure the iPad is kept in a safe place, and see that it’s behaving well.

Your iPad Nanny will hold your iPad while you’re eating greasy French fries or pizza, carry it while you’re shopping and turn it off for you when you fall asleep on the couch.

Mobile charging attendant - Your iPad, cell phone and laptop all need their batteries charged. A mobile charging attendant can insure that all of them have ample juice. You won’t have to gather up all of the devices and drop them off the charging station, either. A mobile charging attendant makes house calls, and one of his duties is tracking down all of your gadgets.

Fingertip fitness instructor - All of that texting, channel surfing and button pushing requires a good deal of dexterity. In a few weeks, your fitness instructor will get your fingers limbered up and in shape, making them lightning quick at navigating the menu of any remote, touchpanel or mobile device that comes your way. Your fingers will have the stamina and the strength to power through any control scheme or media library.

Home-based sanitation officer - With all the button pushing that’s involved in a high-tech home, a buildup of dirt and grime is inevitable. You can put away all of your cleaning products. A sanitation officer is an expert at germ removal … without harming the circuitry of your precious high-tech gear. Removing crumbs from the crevices of your remotes is just the beginning. He’ll dust off your A/V equipment and shine the screens of your TVs and touchpanels, too.

Any more ideas for a new high-tech career? Drop me a note.

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Lisa Montgomery - Contributing Writer
Lisa Montgomery has been writing about home technology for 15 years, with a focus on the impact of electronics on a modern lifestyle.

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